How do I change my personality?

I see myself as open, friendly, caring, respectful of others, though I can be direct but not trying in any way to be mean. Yet I was told today on my new job that many have complained that I'm loud and abrasive and then they describe how I should be and that's how I saw myself being? What can I do? How can I truly know how others perceive me, when I'm obviously wrong. I've only got until Monday's work day to fix it or I'm out of there...please help?How do I change my personality?
Maybe it's like going to a new school... the kids don't know you yet, and they pick on you 'cause you're the ';new kid on the block';.

Don't know how to help you, dude... wish you the best of luck. Keep on being friendly, caring, etc.How do I change my personality?
Since you don't have much time, I would start by being very quiet. Don't talk at all unless someone asks you something directly or you need to say something due to your job needs. When you do talk, keep your voice soft and stick to the subject. Don't insist on anything or criticize anything. Take a second or two to think about what you are saying. If you are new at work, you may be getting too pushy too soon. People don't like others who try to take over their ';territory';. It puts them on the defensive. Just quietly and efficiently do your work. Your boss should have given you an example of what you said or did that upset people. That's the proper way to help someone identify and change unwanted behavior. Good luck.
As a heuristic, your personality is usually fixed. However, you can change your attitude.



With regards to your co-workers, try and be understanding to negative comments and do a little bit of introspection.



Don't think of yourself as wrong, but merely as being new to a new environment.



Be optimistic.



Yours truly,



Makoto
True change takes more than a couple of days. Check out tips on how to be more assertive. It's okay to be direct, however tact when doing so is what makes it hearable or not. Maybe something that would give you more insight the way you view yourself vs the way others view you too, is checking out your Sun sign and your Rising sign. Your rising sign is how people observe you. Also ask your boss for tips on how you can improve yourself. It would show you are willing to change and he/she might need to see that. Best wishes.
I have the exact same problem...



I try to just keep myself to myself when at work, keep my head down, so that i dont come accross loud and overpowering.



You should never try and change your personality though, if people dont love you for who you are then thats their problem.. :)
That funny feeling you feel is life. Just ask the people criticizing you to explain just exactly how you are loud and abrasive. Then take it from there. It's just a big game, take it with comfort.
Still be who you are, but tone it down and try to project a positive attitude in a nice way.
I'm in the same pickle as you, and here's how I fixed my problem:

There's this guy in my class I'll call ';Jason';. He's a real cool guy, real good-looking and athletic and smart and all, and I'm not saying that in a gay way, just that he's someone I admire. Everyone likes him, but he's not really bubbly or obnoxious or anything, like I am. In fact, he's calm, collected, and just real nice, so that's why people like him. So what I did was channel him through me. I wanted ppl to like me in the way they liked him (ie: not as a silly kid, but as a good friend). I watched him in my Algebra class and mimicked his posture, his smile, his clothes, even they way he gripped his pencil. I laughed at what he laughed at, stayed wide-eyed and unaffected when he did. Later, I found myself becoming ';him'; even when I wasn't watching him, like at home, or in my other classes. Find someone you admire, someone you want to personalize with, and try to be like them. Don't make it obvious and go overboard with the clothes and the hair and stuff; it's the subtle things that count.
You just have to think before you speak. Whenever someone talks to you, consciously run your response through your head for five seconds to decide if anything could possibly offend or annoy. If you are at a new job, you are approaching a territory where friendships have already been established. You're the new kid, and you have to earn the openness and social intimacy, it does not come already. Even if you believe what you are saying is friendly or charming, it probably comes off as obnoxious. You do not really know these people yet and are interfering with their group psyche, the day to day behavior that they are all used to and is considered acceptable. Anything out of the norm is going to put them off and make them dislike the person who changed it - you. So keep your head low, focus on your job, and keep your mouth mostly shut. Don't talk about anything personal with other people, no friendly teasing, no innuendos or jokes, no loitering or openly doing anything besides working hard. When speaking to others, be sure to maintain a steady pitch that is not too high or excited, and refrain from smiling too much or staring at people longer than necessary. In time, you will grow accustomed to how they like other people to behave and learn to talk how it is acceptable. Maybe you will gradually be able to show a bit more of your more boisterous personality traits over time when everyone has gotten to know you, but for now, the workplace is not for social talk or making friends, it's for doing a good job on the task at hand. Prove you are a good worker, and then they will be able to take you seriously and see if they like you socially. If you take my advice you will not fail.

Good luck.