Is it REALLY possible for one to change their personality?

For example; say someone was boring, pessimistic, and lazy, quiet, shy...They had no friends and had a hard time engaging in conversations...basically their personality is crippling their life.



..with enough effort, could they change into a social, fun, outgoing, interesting person? Is that even possible, and how would they accomplish changing their personality, and maintain it?Is it REALLY possible for one to change their personality?
I would like to say that while being pessimistic and lazy could be termed as faults, boring, quiet and shy are not. The same thing one group may find boring, another could find very interesting. A person that seems shy to the outside world may not be at all, just introspective. A quiet person could be a very good listener. Artists, poets, writers and composers could all be put into these categories. Could these people change? Maybe, but most probably don't want to, because they're happy in their own serenity. I do know a person who is a sociopath, which is true anti-social behavior. I believe if a person like this truly wants to change, and really works hard to change, then they can.Is it REALLY possible for one to change their personality?
Its possible but very rare. From going to a depressed person to a really happy person sounds like he or she might have some kind of personality disorder and should be on medicine.
Our behaviours are generally learned and are ingrained in us so it takes alot for someone to change. However, with a lot of work it can be done. Firstly, they need to explore why they are the way they are. Are they depressed? Anxious? Is there some other reason for their social difficulties? People can definately change but they first need to peel the layers and find out why they are like they are - a good counsellor is highly recommended.
i think anythings possible kierra. how would one do it? one day at a time. they would have to engage in more social activities. they would have to get out of their comfort zone. i doubt it would be easy, and the person would really want that change in their life. a mental image of what he or she would want to be, would definitely make it easier to work towards that goal. psychiatrists and psychology majors more or less get into the field, because they believe it is possible for one to change.
I've come to believe that you can not change your basic personality traits. You can try to understand them and manage your life accordingly to get what you want.



I think some of the things you mentioned are not personality traits...boring, lazy are not personality traits. They are true of all personalities. An outgoing person can be boring...they will just be loudly boring. A hyper person can be lazy...they will just spend a lot of energy doing nothing.



I understand your question, I face the situation you are describing. I am an introvert and have a difficult time in some social situations. I fought against that for a good long time...wanting to be an extrovert because I thought only an extrovert could have fun and be happy. All personality types can be fun and happy, they will just go about it in different ways.



So no, I feel that despite the effort, an introvert can not become an extrovert. They can however become social, fun and interesting...if they except that they will not be that way in the same way that an extroverted person will be. There is more than one way to measure these things.



EDIT -- depression is not a personality trait. All people suffer from depression and just express it differently based on their personality.



EDIT the EDIT -- didn't mean to say that all people suffer from depression...just that all people CAN suffer.
You can't change personality traits but you can change with time personality tendecies. It depends on if the person is suffering from Depression or a Mental ilness-then with medication their personality could actually change dramasticly. If the person is not mentally ill or has any other indicators of a warped personality due to some kind of cause then i'd say its rare to change personaly completly.
I don't think you can completely change your personality, but I think it's possible to improve in areas necessary for having a proper conversation. First, you need to lose the fear of worrying about what everyone else thinks. When people see that you're worried about what they think, this automatically makes a possible conversation very awkward. Second, you need to be open minded about the things you are talking about...don't act like a robot in other words; speak your mind! Third, practice, practice practice. There is no substitute for practice and experience when it comes to having conversations with people. Also, it makes up for ALOT just to be a good listener. Make sure you maintain eye contact also. Well, I hope I helped you out some...goodluck!
It is possible, but takes a lot of reprogramming. Getting to know yourself is probably best first step. This points out the areas that need change, and makes one a bit more interesting to be around. Getting in shape physically can have a major impact, as well as taking public speaking courses in college or something. If they have a serious problem, that may impede; but never give up hope. Especially dealing with the huge prescribe anti-depressant trend. Remember that emotional health is key here. I made that change, the long and hard way. But I did make it.
Yes! I can tell you from personal experience it is possible. I have done it. It takes commitment and determination but it can be done. First however, you must decide what looks right on you. Fun, outgoing and social doesn't fit everyone. If you try too hard, you could wind up looking awkward and foolish. You may end up with a combination such as; social, fun, still a bit pessimistic but interesting. The most important thig is to relax and be yourself.
Sure, it's possible, but if depression is involved, the person needs to deal with this first before doing anything else. I used to be depressed and was on meds and went to counseling off and on for years. The depression finally left when I worked through everything and learned tips/tools how to keep depression away, so I finally was able to get off my antidepressant. :)



Then, a few years later, I decided to change my personality. I was quiet, shy, people thought I was either snobbish or boring because I couldn't speak up and join in on conversations. I got tired of how I felt not being a part of conversations (unless it was one on one) and feeling as if I was being left out of everything (and being taken advantage of because I wouldn't speak up). I did a complete turn around and am now a lot more outgoing and outspoken, join in on conversations--and people actually listen to me, converse with me, agree with me! I had to start small (such as at a restaurant when my food wasn't like I wanted or ordered it, I would let the waitress know, or the service wasn't good I let the manager know) and worked my way up to pretty much everyone. Now I am able to not only join in on conversations, but also can start them. Yes, I do have certain times when I am still shy and quiet, but during that time I just sit and listen, which is when I learn things about people and many subjects.



It took me over a year to change my personality, to figure out what I wanted it to be like in the end, where I fit in (such as in conversations, society, etc), but I did it. Over the last couple years or so I have been 'tweaking' my personality even more (which I think everyone should do all their lives) and notice that i am happier now than I ever have been, my self-esteem and self-worth have gone up a lot, and I don't depend on others to make me happy anymore (it's now up to me). I do get sad or upset because of things that happen in my life or around me (for example, my boyfriend broke up with me and kicked me out of our home and his life back in April--I still love him but now realize that he was cheating on me and I don't need that in my life), but I don't try to let them upset me for very long and I move on with my life.
yes its possible with great determination...
mine changed for the good after retirement
How to Change Yourself



Our personality results from how we respond to external stimuli that we encounter throughout our lifetime.



A personal experience is how we respond to a new encounter. (All encounters are new one's for us, as everything is unique and changing ?an encounter might seem similar but if you look close you will see a difference.)



All encounters are new, but if we respond the same way we are used to - out of our conditioning - then in effect we are resisting self-change. As long as we reject the new information coming from the outside and don檛 adapt to it, as long as we don檛 allow it in to change us, then we will be destined to have 'repeat experiences'. Repeating experiences is what keeps us the same and is also the cause of stress to build up in our bodies and is also the reason why we get diseases, illnesses, age and die.



The more we resist changing ourselves to outside changing conditions, the more 榦ut-of-date?we will get, and thus also why outside conditions will become increasingly stressful for us. Our pockets of resistance to change, result in building stress, which weakens the existing structure. This is the same thing that can be seen with a rigid structure such as a bridge, because it can檛 adapt itself to outside forces, the structure erodes, and eventually the stress becomes too much and the structure collapses. A collapsed structure is a forced cataclysmic change.



We resist outside influences on all levels, because it檚 our nature to want to stay the same, and the way we stay the same is by rejecting NEW outside information, which is nearly everything. So the truth, is that human beings by nature, reject nearly all new information. This is also the reason why humans are so slow to learn new lessons and make a real change throughout our long history. That war is still the main way today to settle differences shows that we still don檛 know how to adapt. So we will all change no matter what we do or not, but as a human we have a choice in the matter. If we can learn to adapt ourselves to what life is presenting to us all around, to become open, receptive, communicative, peaceful to what is presenting versus fighting everything that檚 different, then we will heal or recreate ourselves and thus this flexible nature will result in a greater possibility for us to survive.



Wisdom is in knowing this and learning how to adapt ourselves to the changing world around us. We need to learn how to drop and let go of the old parts of ourselves

and accept the new. This is basically learning how to accept the new and different and joining with it, versus fighting to maintain the existing structure. I think one key that can help us realize this truth is:



That in each encounter you have with another human being, you are being offered the gift to have a unique experience. This is true, simply because the two of you are unique.



When two humans meet, our own resistance to the uniqueness of the other becomes apparent and clear to us. Innately we want to find confirmation from the other, we want there to be sameness - we look for kindred spirits, for others of like-mind, for soul mates. But the reality of life forms is there are no two identical life forms, so there will always be differences. Acknowledging what we perceive as 榦ur?differences, is the key to change ourselves. When we meet another person we want to get agreement or confirmation from them for our sameness, if they give this to us, we like them and accept them but KNOW that this is the CAUSE of 榬epeating experiences? Wherever there is a difference, that doesn't give us confirmation, then we don't like it, so then we reject it, which also you should SHOW is the CAUSE of 榬epeating experiences?



So we should now know that if there is something in the other or in a happening outside of us, that we don't like, then 榦ur dislike?can be showing us our own resistance to change. To change we need to relax our 榤ental defense?and preference for our known and familiar behavior (to stay the same). If we can do this, then this will make us open to receive an unknown or a new encounter. when we open to receive new encounters, the door is open, the new energy can enter into the inside of us and in an instant we are changed. It檚 as simple as that.



To know if one is truly open to accepting new encounters a checkpoint might be the following: If after several encounters with fellow human beings you have learned nothing about your own resistance to change, if you have not found out one thing in yourself that needs updating and changing due to their feedback and existence, then you have lost an opportunity to change yourself and gain a new experience.



Betsy
It seems that your question assumes that changing ones personality would in some way improve ones life. Any improvement would only be superficial as the personality is only the surface level of a person's identity. It is the nature of personality to cause suffering, no matter how many ';good'; qualities it may have. If the point of the attempt to change the personality is to somehow reach a perceived level of happiness or contentment it is misguided. The happiness that is sought can not be found on the level of personality, one must go much deeper. Depth requires we stop trying to get better and begin to first accept who and where we are without judging and trying to get away from ourselves.
'Personality' is like a dress you are wearing or a raincoat. It protects you and keeps away unwanted influences. The dilemma is that people are identified with their cloth, they can't change it so easily, If the outside conditions are changing, then they don't want to change their clothing and prefer to suffer if there is too much heat, etc.

But YES, it is possible to change ones personality, the same as one can change ones clothing, even to the extend that one becomes totally naked and with this making the experience, that one is NOT that one is wearing and ones existence doesn't depend on this, but that there is something that is more essential. One might even make the experience, that one doesn't need any protection and one can live, enjoy and express ones pure being, so letting most of the problems connected with ones personality behind...

How to reach this state of being? Ask for it, then you will find the answer, it will come to you...

BeiYin