Ambien Blackout-Personality Change? Don't Recall Conversation:(?

Here is the situation. My ex and I broke up last weekend. It was painful for me because I am the one that caused it by being inattentive to her needs..It was not because I was a jerk and mistreated her..I just didn't treat her the way I know she should be treated. I wasn't romantic like I should..didn't tell her how much I cared for her..things like that. The bad thing was is the main reason I was not doing those things is I was suffering from depression and was not myself. I didn't even realize how far I had gone down hill. It was not a severe depression where I really noticed it..like wanting to die or anything..Just caused problems with sleep, energy, emotional issues and lack of sex drive, etc.I absolutely hated myself last weekend for failing to recognize how my depression was affecting things and failing to get help sooner. I did get help this week. I needed it.



However, I was hoping that my ex and I could remain on friendly terms., We did e-mail each other back and forth this week going over what happened in our relationship and her providing me some guidance. It sounded as if we were on friendly terms, and friendship, at least on a loose basis may be possible. She said she wanted to put those ';issues behind us';



Then all of a sudden yesterday she said she did not want to correspond with me further because of my scary behavior LAST weekend (nearly a week later). I do remember being really depressed on Saturday and Sunday and calling her repeatedly. I thought that is what she meant. No, she said I made some kind of threat to reveal details of her personal life to her friends.



I really do not recall doing that. Apparently that happened Sunday night. The first I heard about it was nearly a week later, and she was nice to me the entire week over e-mail.



Last Sunday night I did take my two Ambien (20mg) and two benadryl. I do recall not wanting to be awake for very long and wanted to sleep for a while because I was in so much emotional pain. Apparently this threat to reveal information occured that evening. I sincerely do not recall doing such a thing, but she is not usually the type of person to make something.



I am just very concerned about what happened. I feel like my personality totally changed while under the influence of the medication and made me say something to hurt someone which is not something I would normally do.



I am trying to get her to forgive me, but I don't think it's going to work. I feel like a total jerk.



Can these drugs ';change'; your personality and/or was it something I would have said normally? Any assistance would be appreciated.I am trying to get closure on this. It really bothers me I would hurt someone or make them concerned/scared. It is not normal for me.Ambien Blackout-Personality Change? Don't Recall Conversation:(?
it may not have been something you would normally say. My Husband is on Ambien CR and he has been known to write emails and also buy stuff and also eat stuff and he does not remember in the morning. He will sleep walk and come downstairs and get food and do it all like he is wide awake. It is the most bizzare and scariest thing about taking these meds.



I think maybe it was good that you had this happen because now you can have the energy and time to put into yourself and get your life straightened out before trying to have a relationship. You need time to talk, get on meds that might help you sleep that won't cause funky side effects, work on your own self esteem, etc.



You can say this is a blessing in disguise. That is how I look at things like this.



It isn't fair to take her on this rollercoaster ride with you. Now I understand if you have been married as long as my Husband and I have and then all of a sudden you come down with BiPolar, but as for going out this may be more than either of you can handle at the moment.