Monday, June 6, 2011

Is it possible for a person toreally change a personality trait that defines them? e.g social anxiety, shyness

i have been in uni for around two years now and have very few friends .I have tried to go to various activities and join in, but its proving very difficult for me and i feel like i dont quite fit in any where. How do i get rid of my shyness or whatever it is that is holding me back socially?Is it possible for a person toreally change a personality trait that defines them? e.g social anxiety, shyness
The best way to handle shyness is through self-acceptance. Focus on the positive aspects of introversion and build upon these positive traits. For instance, introverted people need a great deal of personal space and time alone. And so they tend to be more reflective, empathetic, and sensitive to others. Therefore, they usually make excellent writers, psychologists, social workers and counselors.



The shy person may be more creative, artistic or musically inclined. Or they may be more scientifically minded and able to devote large chunks of time to research, while an extroverted personality might find the isolation involved in some of these careers much harder to deal with.



The key issue here is learning how to be comfortable with your own personality traits and talents instead of comparing yourself to some one else. Introverts are generally satisfied with a smaller, more intimate group of friends while extroverts are energized by a wide circle of friends and acquaintances.



You can be introverted without being shy. Introverted simply means that you process the world around you on an internal level, while the extrovert will process his or her thoughts through the external world. For example, introverts are stimulated by ideas while extroverts are stimulated by meeting new people.



There is nothing wrong with either approach, and learning to embrace your inner qualities will build your self-esteem , causing you to have a sense of purpose in your life. Social anxiety then, lessens because you are now focused on your talents and goals which will enable you to begin losing that all pervading self-consciousness that



causes you to “zone” in on your faults.Is it possible for a person toreally change a personality trait that defines them? e.g social anxiety, shyness
hmm.. they say that people judge if thy like you or not within 30 seconds, it sounds to me you need a confidence booster, your body language also may be giving negative vibes.



why not get yourself involved with activities with your friends? that way you have someone with you to help you through it.



also when you get to know people fine things you have in common and exploit it.





I hope i have been helpful =)
First STOP trying to be what you aren't. Different people is what makes the world go around. If someone else is good at one thing you are great at something else. You should always remember everybody wasn't created equal but that is okay. You will find you nitch in life in due time stop pushing it. Not everyone is good at everything. Let people like you for you. You will see there is something special about you...You have to like yourself first
Yes or No, it depends on how you look at it. We are all born with certain trait that defines us. These traits will stick to us all throughout our live, but there is some good news here. You can dull/sharpen the edges of a sword but its still gonna be the same sword. Basicly, i just said that you can significantly change your personality whether it be good or bad, depending on your life situation, or how hard you work to change it. For example, i used to a lazy pig who never did anything, but then i became a christian and i knew that in order for me to be holy, i must break that bad habit. Now, i am still lazy nonetheless, but i force myself to do things when i have to, and quite often. Once again we can configure our character traits but they will be with us forever, its what makes you YOU.



And for your shyness problem i cant give you a really great answer. Im not really shy, but im quiet; usually when i wanna make new friends i do the following.



1) Get to know a common person, like the person who works near you, a person you see everyday, or best of all your boss

2) Greet them with a good salutation whenever you can, and do generous things for them like give them a hand if they need it, open the door for them, etc.

3) Try to keep a posotive physical appearance. Try to look the best you can and just look as friendly as you can, dont just look all depressed and slumped

4) have very small conversations with someone each day and try to build from there



There are so much more tips i can give you but in the end, your just gonna have to suck it up and be confident for 10 mins, then the conversation will just pick up from there. Or befriend some of your friend's friend, that how i got some of my best friends. I got another best friend by asking him to borrow a pencil each day. Just be creative, but most importantly....Confident



One last thing. Although its good that you want to expand your circle of friendship, but dont completly change yourself; dont try to be someone your not. Every hair on your head and every trait you got seperates your from you mother and father. As i stated before, try to sharpen the edges of your sword but dont break it.



Good luck.
If you have social anxiety then I strongly recommend you seek help for it. I only discovered my 'shyness' was social phobia in my 30s and with medication my personality has not changed - but I've been released from that prison of fear and can now enjoy social activities, my personal and work life have exploded. I won't ever be an extrovert, but now I can make eye contact, I no longer blush and stutter when I try to speak, I don't feel the need to avoid people or social situations.



Medication is not the only way - before everyone takes offense - in fact talk therapy is preferred and quite successful. You're in the right place (University) to find help, please do so. I hate to think of others suffering needlessly. My life might have been very different if this fear of mine had been recognized, diagnosed and treated earlier in my life.



Good Luck.
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