I need to change :'( I'm desperate?

I'm here in my bedroom as I am everyday unless I'm at school, You know this might not even make any sense but I just need to tell someone. Thats someone being you because I have no friends.

I turned 18 today and it has been the worst birthday ever. I didnt receive one present, not even one card. I've had to take **** from my parents today as always, telling me I'm not good enough. I always try to make them happy. If I told them that they would laugh straight in my face. But I really do try. Each night, when the whole world seems to be asleep, thats the only time I get to think. I think about my future, hoping it will not be like my past or present. I think about my parents, how can I make them happy. I try new methods each day but I never succeed.

I think about school. How can I change? Everyone thinks I'm a freak- I never talk. But how can I talk to them if they never talk to me. Then I thought maybe if I ask teachers thing in front of them they will know I'm not mute after all, then maybe they will start talking to me. Nobody my age likes me. Its always older men in their 20's that think I'm pretty, have a unique look. But at school, I walk down the corridors, 16 year old boys try to 'scare' me. But why me I wonder. Is it because I'm ugly? Is it because I'm asian ? Is it because I have no friends? Is it because I look so gloomy? I still dont know.

18 years of my life have gone like this. And today I want to change this. I dont want to be the silent, moody, sad girl with the glasses. You may laugh I dont mind, but I have big dreams. So I cant be shy or sad or ugly if I am which I dont know.

Thats why I am planning on changing. I see people around me who have changed personality and looks wise so I think why cant I. So, my aim for this year is to increase my self confidence by getting a job to buy clothes, contact lenses, makeup. But I need to make friends too. How could I make friends when they all know me as the weird girl who never talks? Why is it that some people talk to me but when there with their friends they act like they have never seen me before? How can I overcome this.

I read somewhere that the people who work hard at what they want they will surely succeed and everyone has hrd times in their life but they will win one day. I just live each day trying to convince myself this is true.



Thanks for reading this. Let me know what you think. Be as harsh as you like. I will take anything on board.I need to change :'( I'm desperate?
I'm so sorry about this :'(

I really really am

Forget about your parents, don't take any more **** from them. Just stay away from them and hardly talk to them.

Next look at yourself in the mirror, look at your wardrobe, and look at your hair.



YOURSELF: Do you see a body that you are confident in? Do you see a beautiful girl or an ugly one? If you see a beautiful one, your on the right track!



...If not... then see what you need to change. Clearing up skin, losing/gaining weight, getting contacts, getting better makeup, or even start wearing makeup are easy changes you can make. Don't beat your self up over not having a perfect nose, or not having beautiful eyes, etc.

Make changes to yourself and SMILE.



YOUR WARDROBE: Look in your closet. Do kids your age wear the clothes you wear? Or are they different? Right now you want to have the kind of clothes kids your age wear. If you don't have enough money just try to make your clothes ';normal'; looking. You already are singled out, so even if it means to take your unique style away, it will help you blend in better.



YOUR HAIR: Why do I include hair in this you ask? Hair can say a lot about a person. If you don't take showers every day your hair starts getting oily, oily hair is not attractive. If your hair looks ok (its neat, healthy looking, and just gorgeous) then your on the right path.



...If not...then make it neat, healthy looking, and just gorgeous by getting shampoos and conditioners that suit your hair and brushing/combing it!



Now we need to work on your CONFIDENCE

Once you look like you blend in then...

Talk to people you wouldn't normally talk to!

Raise your hand in class when you know the answer!

Do a sport so you have something to talk about with people!

Forget about the flaws about people and focus on whats good about them!



Good luck %26amp; I'm here for you! Click on my Y!A profile and email me for further questions if you would like. I'll check back at this question in case you add anymore details :)I need to change :'( I'm desperate?
Try makin jokes wit someone in your class that looks nice...or try bein friends with sum1 else whose a bit of a loner. And don't try 2 impress ur parents if they treat u like ****!work hard in skool and try 2 go 2 college. I'm sure ur not ugly bcuz I think Asians r the prettiest ppl put there! U shuld make a list of way u wanna change and do it! Write it down now. Now. Now! NOW!!
First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY !



Be who you are, dont change yourself just because you think it'll make other appreciate you more. If that's the case, its not true appreciation. Just be yourself, and when the right people come along, they'll know how to appreciate you.



';Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind'; -Dr. Suess
I am really sorry. I can understand how you feel up to a point cause I didn't have any friends till last year and I was ugly, everybody made fun of me, my family could not understand me. You know, I thought good things would never come. But they came this year. I made new friends and I'm happier now. I 've changed both on my body and my soul. Don't be desperate. Don't waste your life. Great things will come to you. Just try to make a new start as an adult now. It's not all about wise or clever minds. It's about yourself and to be happy. You can make yourself with your character cause there are many people out there who would like to be with you. Happy Birthday! and never be sad again. Keep walking :) ........