When ever i start feeling down,I reinforce my feelings with mood changing thoughts that change my personality.?

when im at work i get really down ( i know i suffer from some level of depression, but when i tried anti depressents i was really tired all the time and i hate being tired so i stopped taking them) and so when im at work and i start feeling bogged down by how much i hate my job( and no i cant get a different job at the moment because of transportaition issues) so when i get bogged down i completly change the way i think wich alters my personality, untill i anilize that personality untill i get bogged down, or i forget what i was thinking and find a new personality changing thought, now i know it sounds like a have a muli personality disorder but i cant afford to see a shrink at the moment and the doc isnt prescribing the right drungs( and i dont want to take drugs, because my dad suffers from depression and hes on anti depressents and i dont want to become a push over like him) so ya im not looking for someone to tell me i need to go see a shrink b/c im waiting for my benefits befor i go, but i just need to make it threw the next month without freeking out because i dont know who i am and my brain hurts from all these mood altering thoughts, so i just need advice on how to make it threw them month, the week, the day, the night. please help.When ever i start feeling down,I reinforce my feelings with mood changing thoughts that change my personality.?
let me tell you the truth of all truths.







===a man is whatever he thinks he is ==



its been proved man, ask a friend for the book law of attraction or something, read the bible