Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Overnight personality change... HELP !?

My girl just turned one years old. And suddenly, OMG, it's like someone kidnapped my happy, content, smiling, easy-going baby and replaced her with a snarky monster-kid !



She is constantly testing, every day is a struggle. She purposely does whatever we just said NO to, then has a monster fit when we take her away from whatever it was. She is suddenly extremely impatient and screams at the top of her lungs. Every single time she doesn't get what she wants, she has a terrible tantrum, throwing herself down and doing the bacon. If we are holding her when we refuse something, she slaps us in the face ! She never did any of this just a week ago !



What is the best way to deal with this sudden extreme-defiant phase ? Any idea how long I'll be pulling my hair out ? I can't imagine the terrible two's can be much worse....Overnight personality change... HELP !?
1) don't yell, be obsequious or appeasing.

2) develop a firm voice when talking at all times except when playing.

3) I like the holding time out: sit down on floor or chair, put the child on your lap with her back toward you and hold her arms around her in a sort of straight jacket firmly so she can't squirm out, but, of course, loose enough to let her breath.

4) while she is trying to squirm out and yell, you are calmly but firmly telling her in a regular voice: ';XYZ is a no-no, XYZ is a no-no...'; (XYZ = the particular transgression). At first do it for 30 seconds to 1-2 minutes. If this doesn't help, keep it up until she calms down in your lap and when she finally calms repeat the message 1-2 more times then her let go.

5) be consistent, never miss an opportunity to follow the undesirable behavior with a consequence.

6) be aware some behaviors will be a the result of simple inability to self regulate and others out of the meanness of that period. Some behavior will just have to be ignored (just walk out of the room or turn you back to it) and others the steps above. Experience will tell you which needs a consequence and which needs to be ignored. Sometimes you won't know, so ignore and if continues do the routine above but if you do the routine don't give up in the middle. Good luck. You've got 6 months to 3 years of this but hopefully the above with shorten and/or make them less intense or frequent.

No comments:

Post a Comment