Can you change your personality for the better? I notice I have traits from both my father and my mother?

I seem to have my mom's mean streak, she is awesome and I love her, but she can be quite mean and anxious at times..I have noticed the older I have gotten it seems to be getting worse..I don't wanna be a bitter mean person..How can I change this?Can you change your personality for the better? I notice I have traits from both my father and my mother?
By realizing what she is was a great start. My parents are both, well to say the least, screw ups. I have looked at both of their life styles and learned from them.



Now that you have realized that you dont want to be like them, simply strive to be the person you really want to be. If you tell yourself that you cant, you simply wont be able to. Always keep yourself in good faith that YOU control who you are, not your parents.Can you change your personality for the better? I notice I have traits from both my father and my mother?
well dont mean 2 preach but go 2 GOD ask 4 help try its up 2 u caontrol ur temper try to insted of saying something mean say somthing u need 2 fix bout uself i know wut u mean but its up 2 u u can do it urself (but its WAY easier with god!) good luck i'll pray 4 u
We each carry some of our Parents characteristics and mannerisms.don't fret too much, just think before you speak or act,we're just human.
Yes, you can change some things. Otherwise us psychotherapists would be out of work!



The problem is that there are some things you can't change (fundamental personality characteristics, for example), there are some things you wouldn't want to change (things you like abut yourself, for example), and some things that are just too much trouble to change.



Among the last are facets of your personality that become more ingrained and permanent as you grow older. Which means that, the older you get, the less likely you can change much at all.



The problem with being born into a family (which we all are!) is that, as young children, we look at our parents and assume that their examples are the ONLY way we should act. If Mom is nervous...I should be nervous when I grow up. If Dad is always angry...when I'm an adult I should be angry too.



Childhood is the time we practice being like Mom and Dad!



The older you get (meaning, I'd say, the closer you get to the age your mom was when you were a child) the more likely you are to act like Mom.



Yes, you can change some of these things. Keep in mind that your Mom and Dad behaved the way they did when you were a child (and now, also) IN ORDER TO...



We all behave ';in order to.'; That is, we think or feel or act with some pay-off in mind, a result we'd like in the future. Usually, we call them ';goals.'; We human beings are goal-oriented, called ';teleological.';



Your parents act as they do to get results they want. You, on the other hand, are a copy-cat. You do what THEY do because you think that's what you SHOULD do. But you do't do it for the same REASONS they do...you don't have the same goal, result, or pay-off in mind.



And that's how you can change your personality: By deciding what YOU want in life and in your future, what YOU want to be like, and then behaving IN ORDER TO make it happen.



Some people like to involve someone elss in thils process, such as a counselor, clergy-person, or psychotherapist. I'd recommend an Adlerian psychologist or coach, since they base their work on a psychological system that focuses on the future.



You can learn more about Adler and his concdepts at http://www.lifecourseinstitute.com



Good luck with this . . . -- Dr. Bob
I really do see what you mean because my mom acts like mean all the time, and my dad he's the nice one,but they both are mean to each other. As a child i always thought i was like my dad but then i started to be around my mom a lot more and then i started to act like her. I was lazy, didn't want to get a job, mad all the time for because something didn't go my way, mad at my mom because i was acting just like her. But I got use to my moms ways and realize that I don't have to be mad at her. People are going to be people and some people don't change because they are set in their own ways and are use to it. But if you really want to change your out look on life you can by learning to do the important thing on your own, if that going away to college, or getting a job, or just getting out the house to go to a more lovely place every once in awhile would be cool. Maybe you could also talk to your mom and let her know how you feel and then chance you because you want to change you not because of someone esle. love your parent because of who they are,and what you have learned from them rather good or bad because someone else could have it much worst than you